Well, here we are on the shores of Lake Erie in the midst of an absolutely beautiful Autumn. The unusual weather gives way to a usual Cleveland Browns season under the tutelage of the infamous Lerner family. By the way, Randy wants us all to know that he's a fan!
1-7 and still counting. 3 of the eight games has seen a scoreboard fireworks show of...6 points. On two separate occasions they exploded for... 3 points. During the Lerner years, the Browns are 3-19 against their once rivaled Pittsburgh Steelers.
After glancing through several news networks today I think I've stumbled upon what may be the way out of this mess. And by George, I think I've got it!
Randy Lerner has an insatiable thirst for the New England Patriots and the leaves off of the olive branch known as Bill Belichick. Romeo Crennel didn't cut it. Mangini isn't faring any better and actually has alienated the fans and in one half of a year has turned the entire NFL media and even Rolling Stone magazine to look "painfully" at Cleveland. Also, Charlie Weiss is in an immanent state of getting ready his good-byes to the Golden Domers. And that got me thinking. So under Bill, these guys were highly sought after prodigy's. On their own, they have been as sharp as a hammer.
Well, how about a combined effort? A first!!! Never seen before in the NFL, the Browns could give a new meaning to the phrase, "Three Headed Monster". Like Mangini and the secretive QB announcements, Lerner could name his coach on Wednesdays. Or perhaps it could be a "game time decision". One week Mangini would have final say, the next Romeo, and Charlie being thrown in to give the opposing defensive coordinators fits!!! All along, they could argue amongst themselves behind closed doors. On the chalkboard would read "WWBD"...What Would Bill Do?
Of course the Press conferences would be a little tricky, but there is a way to get around this. I say have the three of them attend so we can all have three vague answers to simple questions. How great would it be to lose 6 games in a row and have the three of them tell us that we don't know what we are looking at!?!? That this is a process. Rome and the Patriots weren't built in a day. We did what we thought was the best for this team. We have a plan. Patience.
I know the biggest arguments would probably be over which meal of the day is the most important, and what is the appropriate amount of food (in lbs.) to eat while doing film study.
Ego's clashing? Nope. I've got that covered as well. Randy will have the security people in Berea monitor and record all input in a secretive way. Like three guys firing their rifles at the accused in a firing squad, two with blanks, none of them will know who is actually being recorded. After a game, they can sit in chairs like the old dating game. Bachelor numbers 1, 2, and 3. It could be like a game show in and of itself. Poll the audience: Which coach was in favor of kicking a field goal down by 12 with 67 seconds remaining? And the answer is... Coach #2!!! (audience):aaaaawhh, dammit Eric. His supporters shouting, " I believed in you man!" Which coach opted for a timeout at 2:02 just before the two minute warning and halftime? The answer may shock you... Coach #1. (Audience):Aaaaaaawwwwwwhhhhhh Charlie!!! "Shut up you ignorant fans. I already forgot more than you'll ever know. There's a reason we take a timeout just before being granted one for free and I'm not at liberty to discuss with you why we do it!"
Would the headlines read, "The Three Stooges" or "The Three Wise Men"???? Randy is the only one who has the ability to let us find out.
Ludicrous??? You try being a Browns fan for all these years!